1995我的逃亡 为了纪念那不曾忘却的岁月

1995我的逃亡

（不幸的经历让我们更加坚强  珍惜每一天自由清新的空气）

一切都太出乎意料了。

《红楼梦》里有“葫芦僧乱判葫芦案”，没想到在公元一九九五年发生了。一审开庭有理，法官大人明判暗调，可被告官差捕头却翻脸了。冒犯了衙门官差的威严，那还了得，一个字“抓”。法官大人的话“有些话不好说，不行到时候就走。”

执法如山？执法如扇乎？

一切的一切都没什么用，面对这残酷的现实。

在二审没下来之前，我只好简单的收拾衣物，坐着火车匆忙离开宜昌。以免二审下来,出了衙门，就等着被官差抓。

一个懵懂无知愤怒的我，开始了逃亡日子。

窗外的树木一晃即过。

别了，我的父母，别了，宜昌。还有那虎视眈眈的衙门官差，在等着邀功请赏......

我不知道家里会发生什么变故......

终于到了我的故乡河北第一站---邯郸。下了车，曾经去过的丛台、赵都商场，就在附近。故乡的乡音就在耳边响起，深深地嘘口气，故乡，我回来了。

走在乡间的路上，两旁白杨树高耸着，一些槐树稀落在村口。

城里呆久了，到乡村真不习惯。

有时一个人不骑自行车，地下走四里地到县城去，一个店也不放过，看着一些二手市场还沿用着古老的方式----在衣服袖口遮掩下用手指讨价还价......，打发着对我而言----无趣的时间。

有时坐在村口，看着天空。

我在想我的父母。

天，蓝蓝的，地，一望无边......

乡村的空气是那么的清新，我不知道回去，能否呼吸到自由的空气。

北方的风有时吹的呼呼响，我不知道回去，能否逃避了官差的惩罚。

我以为大人们总是有办法的。

父亲也来了，他被学校下岗了，他放心不下我。他去找旧时的同学，打听他们中的亲戚有谁在北京中央的。不知道父亲对他们是如何开口说起的，父亲旧时的同学答应帮忙，写了条子让父亲去北京找他哥哥，在中央信访局工作。父亲准备去北京上访。

我们在等家里寄来的官司材料。

家里把官司材料邮寄来了，仅有的材料证据上写满了父亲对证据的推理和引用的法律条款。家里寄错了，没有把原件复印寄来。在二十多年后，看着遗留下父亲的笔迹，我才发现这样的批注是必须的、正确的搞法，让人一目了然。

父亲很失望，叹口气说，这事就算了，再搞就是反对共产党。他是经历过文革运动的人。

我很生气，责怪起父亲，还不是因为父亲被人打......。我把自行车一丢，气呼呼的走了。

父亲一个人在那站着......

那天我和父亲谁也没说话。

父亲告诉我，他要去福建长乐机场打工。安顿好了，就让我也去，天下饿不死穷人，哪里都能找到饭吃。让我等他消息。

父亲一个人又走了，去福建打工。

春节来临了，官差捕头又到我家去了，母亲和他们吵了起来，还让不让我们过个春节？

在故乡的我对这一切不知道。

乡村的春节很喜庆，贴着春联和门神，供奉灶王爷之类的画像。我吃过年饭，一个人关着门，想着心事。

鞭炮声此起彼伏，快乐是他们的，我却不快乐。好孤单的年。

和家里打了电话，我想家了，在这呆不下去了。姐姐告诉我，既然不习惯，就回来吧。老家人不同意我走。姐姐给父亲的同学打个电话让他帮忙一下，父亲的同学赶到了村里，对老家人说，家里让我回去。

父亲往故乡打电话，才发现我已经回宜昌了。

我没想到父亲随即辞了工作返回了宜昌。

天蒙蒙的，快亮了。下了车，我扛着从故乡带的棉花等等，一步一步的挪着脚步，汗在流，衣服也湿了。

门开了，又关了。家里做起了饭，我足足吃了半锅饭。外面再好，也比不上家里的温暖。母亲告诉我，父亲身体也垮了，觉得我违背了他的安排，在生我的气。

和父亲重逢相见的时刻到了。短短几个月时间，父亲已骨瘦伶仃，我哭了。

爸爸，为什么会这样？

父亲摸着我的头说，回来就好就好。

父亲觉得我在家里不见阳光，躲着不是个事。我到姐姐家躲去了。

在我回家的第三天，官差捕头又来了。也许在回家的小路上被人撞见了。母亲真的愤怒了，骂着他们。父亲真的老了，怕了，再也经不起打击。说着母亲，对着官差捕头说好话。

这次也许官差捕头知道内情，对我母亲说：“阿姨你别生气，我们是走过场，你儿子回来就说同事找他玩。”此后再也没登门。

此事不了了之，法院判决执行最终不了了之。

那天我若被逮着，我一定会拼命用携带防身的刀杀人。

又过了半年，我才恢复了平民生活。

哦，可怜天下父母心。

为了纪念那不曾忘却的岁月

（好好爱我们的父母家人  家和万事兴）

我籍贯是河北人，我的爷爷，中农。1938年日本侵华时期在山西加入共产党，入党介绍人赵林（原名罗惠民，曾用名罗祥林。1931年被捕入狱关押北平军人反省分院，1936年经中共北方局党组织多方营救出狱。1938年1月至8月任中共晋西北省委书记，建国后历任四川省、吉林省委书记。），当过村长，骑马戴红花在县城欢庆和分享过他所从事革命事业的胜利，逝于文革时期的迫害。

我的父亲1939年生，第一个走出村里的大学生。高中毕业时当过代课老师，父亲考上过邢台师范数学系，因当时教师地位等于臭老九不被社会所重视，放弃了。那年月地富反坏右的子女是黑五类，没有任何社会地位。因爷爷的原因，个人政治审查严（查三代成分），只身一人从河北跑到湖北武汉，考取武汉水利水电专科学校（为兴建湖北丹江水利工程所建该校）。文化大革命运动爆发，学生们揣着肄业证提前参加工作。在丹江工作第一年加入共青团。当过财会统计类工作，参加过四清运动，文书记录工作，后自动退出，远离各种政治运动。在三年饥荒时期，目睹饥饿的民工不等工地食堂排队抢饭吃。为了养家糊口，申请由干部转为工人，一切从头开始学起，当了二十多年的外线电工。后当上教师，因学历是肄业，涨工资都没份。后他们那一届都落实政策补发毕业证。在1994年为学校工作被由法院背景的人打伤，在学校、警察、法院的手中权力的欺压下，害的我家打了一场开庭有利有据却判输的官司，父母先后忧愤而故。

记得《红旗谱》小说写的是：在旧社会，地主打了长工，长工的儿子找地主理论一番，地主喊来官府衙门，全家被抓，活活逼死人。

我们家在经历了那场官司之后，遭到学校里的精英分子的歧视。我父亲心情一直不好，随着母亲加入了基督教会。周末去市里的教堂礼拜，在那里他们的心灵获得了新生，至少说在上帝面前，他们信徒之间是友爱的。在父亲住院期间，基督教徒经常来看望父亲，劝慰母亲。

在父亲临终前，他告诉我们家人，他看到了上帝，说起了以前的往事。

那天我做了一个梦：病床旁的输液管断了，地上一滩血。我一惊，睁眼看了看父亲，还在那样的呼吸，又昏昏在陪床上睡去。

我错了......

天快亮时，父亲醒了，我也醒了，父亲自己起床洗脸不用我帮忙。我坐在病床前，父亲坐在病床双手合十，也许是在祷告，也许是在.....，说了声：我要飞了。眼睛闭上了，身体软软的要倒下。我吓坏了，赶紧扶父亲，晃着，爸爸，你醒醒。

医生来了，一切无济于事。父亲走了......，飞了.....

告别会上，在基督徒虔诚的圣歌中，上帝接纳一个在人世间饱受苦难的信徒。

一刹那，我觉得上帝是最接近我们的人。

我以前虽怪过父亲没本事，惹他生气。可他真的离开我，我的大脑空了，一片空白.....。

只见地上冒着，泛着一层层光芒。

我的母亲是家属，很坚强可她身体也不好，为父亲遗留下的事，我奔波学校和有关部门之间......

我一次次梦见我的父亲，怀着不孝的自责和愧疚，我抱着父亲的腿，爸爸，你怎么又活了.....，直到被母亲喊醒，我的泪挂在脸上。

也许是父亲灵魂的保佑，我的工作好起来了。可我还生活在不孝的自责和愧疚中，成了大龄青年。

......直到有一天母亲也走了。落叶归根回到了老家河北，和父亲永远在一起......他们的周年，我都没回去扫墓，姐姐去了。

我愧疚，我还有未了的事。那不公正的阴影还在继续......

虽然现在当上了爸爸，我才体会到做父母的艰辛和不易。

由于工作和孩子的原因，我没能有太多的精力去了结家中的冤屈，直到不公正的阴影正在继续......，不知道最终的结局是......

我没有鲁迅先生那锐利的笔锋去评击这个社会。

我愧不如杨乃武小白菜，慈禧太后给平了反。我愧不如杨三姐告状，为胞姐伸了冤。我愧不如秋菊打官司，那样的执着。我愧不如湖北的佘祥林，有媒体的曝光。我愧不如......

为了纪念那不曾忘却的岁月，为了这个社会不再有类似的人间悲剧，以文记事，献给所有受难的人们。

1995 My Escape

The unfortunate experience makes us stronger to cherish the free and fresh air every day.

It's all so unexpected.

"A Dream of Red Mansions" in the "Calabash Monk Judgment Calabash Case", did not expect in the A.D. 1995 happened. The first trial is rational, the judge clearly sentenced to dark, but the defendant officer has turned a head. Affronted the majesty of the yamen, that still got, a word "catch". The words of the Lord Justice, "There are some things that are hard to say, but I will leave when the time comes."

Mountain of law enforcement? Is law enforcement a fan?

Everything is useless, face this cruel reality.

Before the second trial did not come down, I had to simply pack up the clothes, take the train in a hurry to leave Yichang. In order to avoid the second down, out of the Yamen, waiting to be arrested by the officials.

An ignorant and angry me, began to flee.

The trees fluttered past the window.

Farewell, my parents. Farewell, Yichang. Still have that tiger eye covetously of yamen poor, waiting to take credit to invite reward......

I don't know what will happen at home......

Finally arrived my hometown Hebei first station - Handan. Out of the car, had been to the Congtai, zhao shopping malls, in the vicinity. Hometown sounds in the ear, deep hiss tone, hometown, I have come back.

Walking in the countryside on both sides of the road, poplar towering, some locust trees scattered in the village.

I'm not used to going to the country after being in the city for so long.

Sometimes a person does not ride a bicycle, underground walk four miles to the county, a store also not let go, looking at some second-hand market still use the old way ---- in the clothes cuff cover with fingers bargain To pass the time ---- uninteresting to me.

Sometimes I sat at the entrance to the village and looked up at the sky.

I'm thinking about my parents.

Sky, blue, ground, boundless......

The countryside air is so fresh, I do not know to go back, can breathe the free air.

The northern wind sometimes blows whistling, I do not know to go back, can escape the punishment of the official.

I thought grown-ups always had a way.

My father was there, too. He'd been laid off from school and worried about me. He went to his old classmates and asked if any of their relatives were in central Beijing. I don't know how my father began to talk to them, but one of my father's old classmates agreed to help me by writing a note asking my father to go to Beijing to find his brother and work at the Central Public Complaints and Proposals Bureau. Father is going to Beijing to petition.

We're waiting for a lawsuit from home.

The family sent the documents in the mail, and the only documents were filled with the father's reasoning on the evidence and the legal clauses cited. The copy of the original was not sent by mistake. After more than twenty years, looking at the handwriting left by my father, I found that such annotations were necessary, correct and clear at a glance.

The father was very disappointed, sighed and said, forget it, do it again is against the Communist Party. He is a man who lived through the Cultural Revolution.

I am very angry, blame father, not because father was hit...... . I lost my bike and left in a huff.

Father stood there alone......

My father and I did not speak that day.

My father told me that he was going to Fujian Changle Airport to work. Once you have settled down, let me go with you. The world is hungry and the poor will never die. Let me wait for him.

My father left again and went to work in Fujian.

The Spring Festival is coming, the official police head went to my house again, mother and they quarreled, also let us have a Spring Festival?

I didn't know all this back home.

The Spring Festival in the countryside is very festive, with Spring Festival couplets and door gods, for the portrait of the Kitchen God. I have the New Year dinner, a person closed the door, thinking.

The sound of firecrackers, happiness is theirs, but I am not happy. What a lonely year.

I called home. I was homesick. I couldn't stay here anymore. My sister told me, since I'm not used to it, come back. The old family won't let me go. My sister called my father's classmate and asked him to help me. My father's classmate rushed to the village and told the old family that they wanted me to go back.

Father called my hometown only to find that I had returned to Yichang.

I did not expect that my father immediately quit his job and returned to Yichang.

It was a misty day. It was getting light. Get off the car, I carry from the hometown with cotton and so on, step by step to move the pace, sweat in the flow, the clothes are wet.

The door opened and then closed. Home cooked rice, I fully eat half a pot of rice. No matter how nice it is outside, it is not as warm as home. My mother told me that my father had broken down, too, and that I was angry with me for disobeying his arrangements.

It was time to see my father again. In a few short months, my father was very thin, and I cried.

Dad, why is this happening?

My father touched my head and said, Come back and be good.

My father didn't think it was a big deal for me to hide from the sun at home. I went to hide at my sister's.

On the third day after I returned home, the official police officer came again. Maybe they ran into him on the path home. The mother was really angry and scolded them. Father is really old, afraid, and can no longer stand the blow. Said the mother, said good words to the officer.

Maybe this time the official officer knew the inside story and said to my mother, "Auntie, don't be angry. We are just going through the motions. When your son comes back, he will say that his colleagues are looking for him to play." He never came back.

The matter went nowhere, the execution of the court decision went nowhere.

If I had been caught that day, I would have tried to kill with a self-defense knife.

It was another six months before I returned to civilian life.

Oh, poor world parents heart.

To remember the years that never forget

Love our parents, family, home and everything. 

I come from Hebei. My grandfather is a middle farmer. In 1938, during the Japanese invasion of China, he joined the Communist Party in Shanxi Province and introduced Zhao Lin (formerly known as Luo Huimin, formerly known as Luo Xianglin). In 1931, he was arrested and put into prison at the Peiping Military Reflection Branch. In 1936, he was rescued and released from prison by the Communist Party of China Central Committee. From January to August 1938, he served as Party Secretary of Northwest Shanxi Province, and successively served as Party Secretary of Sichuan Province and Jilin Province after the founding of the People's Republic of China.) , when the village head, riding a horse to wear red flowers in the county to celebrate and share his victory in the revolutionary cause, died in the persecution of the Cultural Revolution.

My father, born in 1939, was the first college student to leave the village. When graduated from high school as a substitute teacher, his father was admitted to the mathematics department of Xingtai Normal University, because the status of teachers at that time is equal to the stout old nine is not valued by the society, gave up. In those years, the children of the rich and the evil were the black five, without any social status. Due to his grandfather's strict political scrutiny (check the composition of the three generations), he went to Wuhan, Hubei alone, and was admitted to Wuhan Water Conservancy and Hydropower College (which was established for the construction of Hubei Danjiang Water Conservancy Project). With the outbreak of the Cultural Revolution, students entered the workforce ahead of schedule with their graduation certificates. In the first year of working in Danjiang, I joined the Communist Youth League. Once worked in accounting statistics, participated in the movement of the four qing dynasty and the paperwork work, then quit automatically and stayed away from all kinds of political movements. During three years of famine, hungry migrant workers were seen queuing up for food without waiting for construction canteens. In order to support his family, he applied to be transformed from a cadre to a worker. He learned everything from scratch and worked as an outside line electrician for more than 20 years. After becoming a teacher, because academic record is to study, raise salary all have no. After that they are the implementation of the policy to reissue the graduation certificate. In 1994, when I was working for the school, I was injured by someone with the background of the court. Under the oppression of the school, the police and the court, my family fought a court case which was favorable but lost. My parents died of grief and anger successively.

Remember "spectrum of the red flag" novel is written: in the old society, the land of the main long workers, long workers' son to find the landlord theory, the landlord shouted to the government, the whole family was arrested, forced to death.

After the lawsuit, our family was discriminated against by the elite at school. My father, always in a bad mood, joined the Christian church with my mother. Weekends at the city church, where they found a new lease of life, at least in the presence of God, among their believers. While Father was in hospital, Christians often visited him and consoled Mother.

Before my father died, he told our family that he had seen God and talked about the past.

That day I had a dream: the infusion line by the hospital bed was broken and there was a pool of blood on the floor. I was surprised, opened my eyes and looked at my father, still breathing like that, and fainted to sleep on the bed with him.

I was wrong...

When it was nearly light, my father woke up, and I woke up, and my father got up and washed his face without my help. I was sitting in front of the hospital bed, and my father was sitting in the hospital bed with his hands folded, maybe praying, maybe at..... ", said: I want to fly. Eyes closed, body soft to fall. I was scared, quickly help father, shake, dad, you wake up.

The doctor came, but nothing could help. Father is gone...... To fly...

At the farewell service, in a pious Christian hymn, God receives a believer who has suffered so much on earth.

For a moment, I felt that God was the closest person to us.

I used to blame my father for not being able to make him angry. Can he really leave me, my brain is empty, a blank..... .

There were layers of light glimmering on the ground.

My mother is a family member, very strong but her body is not good, for the father left things, I rush about between the school and the relevant departments......

I dream of my father again and again, with unfilial remorse and guilt I hold the father's legs, dad, how you live..... Until my mother woke me up with tears on my face.

Perhaps thanks to the blessing of my father's soul, my work is getting better. But I still live in unfilial remorse and guilt, became an older man.

. Until one day the mother left, too. Fallen leaves return home hebei, and father forever together...... Their anniversary, I did not go back to the grave, sister went.

I'm sorry. I have unfinished business. The shadow of injustice continues......

Although now when the father, I can realize the hard and not easy to be a parent.

Because of work and children, I didn't have much energy to settle the grievances at home until the shadow of injustice continued...... , do not know the final outcome is......

I do not have Mr. Lu Xun's sharp pen to criticize this society.

I am not as ashamed as Yang Naiwu cabbage, the Empress Dowager Cixi to flat anti. I am not as ashamed as Yang Sanjie to complain, for the sister of the injustice. I am kui not equal to autumn chrysanthemum fight a lawsuit, in that way persistent. I am inferior to Hubei She Xianglin, there is media exposure. I am ashamed as......

In order to commemorate the unforgettable years, in order that this society will no longer have similar human tragedy, in writing, dedicated to all the suffering people.